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CLASSICAL ESSAY |
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by Marcus Tullius Cicero
The right course is to choose for a friend one who is frank, sociable and sympathetic -- that is, one who is likely to be influenced by the same motives as yourself -- since all these qualities induce to loyalty; for it is impossible for a man to be loyal whose nature is full of twists and twinings; and, indeed, one who is untouched by the same influences as yourself and is naturally unsympathetic cannot be loyal. Since happiness is our best and highest aim we must, if we would attain it, give our attention to virtue, without which we can obtain neither friendship nor any other desirable thing; on the other hand, those who slight virtue and yet think that they have friends perceive their mistake at last when some grievous misfortune causes them to put their friends to the test. Virtue both creates the bond of friendship and preserves it. For in virtue is complete harmony, in her is permanence, in her is fidelity; and when she has raised her head and shown her own light, and recognized the same light in another, she moves towards it and in turn receives its beams; as a result love or friendship leaps into flame. We must despair of the safety of the man whose ears are so closed to truth that he cannot hear what is true from a friend. For there is shrewdness in that well-known saying of Cato: "Some men are better served by their bitter-tongued enemies than by their sweet-smiling friends; because the former often tell the truth; the latter, never." New friendships are not be scorned if they offer hope of bearing fruit, like green shoots of corn that do not disappoint us at harvest time; yet the old friendships must preserve their own place, for the force of age and habit is very great. In the intimacy existing between friends and relatives the superior should put himself on a level with his inferior, so the latter ought not to grieve that he is surpassed by the former in intellect, fortune or position. Even if you could bestow upon another any honor you chose, yet you must consider what he is able to bear. Difference of character is attended by difference of taste and it is this diversity of taste that severs friendships; nor is there any other cause why good men cannot be friends to wicked men, or wicked men to good men, except that there is the greatest possible difference between them in character. We must be ever on the search for some persons whom we shall love and who will love us in return; for if good will and affection are taken away, every joy is taken from life.
Excerpted from On Friendship, by Marcus Tullius Cicero |
Cicero: On Old Age On Friendship On Divination
Cicero: The Life and Times of Rome's Greatest Politician
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