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April 2, 2009
How Do
You Get Back Up?
A Counterintuitive
Approach to Thriving in Challenging
Times
by Steve Farber
Author of Greater Than
Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True
Leadership
A while back, I received a distressed email from
Ken, a young manager at a high-tech company.
Ken and I had never met, but he had read my
first two books and had done his best to apply the
ideas and practices of Extreme Leadership to the
way he'd led his team. To their culture, their work
ethic, their camaraderie. When necessary, Ken told
me, they would band together and work hard -- 10 to
20 hours a day at times -- to solve a problem or
meet a pressing need. Ken's wife would cook food
for everyone and bring it to the office. They felt
like a family, he said, committed to doing great
work and devoted to one another's success. No one
ever complained, least of all Ken.
And then something happened. A downturn, a
re-org, a shift in the management structure -- we
all know the drill. Ken still had a job, but his
position was eliminated. New management full of old
ideas came in to oversee the department's function
and the emotional fibers that connected Ken's team
to each other and to their work unraveled.
"Now," Ken wrote," for the last 4 weeks I sat at
my cubicle, web surfing for 8 hours a day at the
same company where I once worked 39 hours straight
with my team to make things right, never going
home.
"I'm not a quitter; I don't want to leave. But
-- just or unjust -- I feel stripped of everything
we've done" he said. "So the advice I'm looking for
is this:
"How do you get back up?"
I admit that I was loath to hand out that kind
of potentially life-altering advice to someone I'd
never met. After all, I had only the sketchiest of
details about Ken's situation, and it seemed way
too presumptuous to represent myself as the
all-knowing answer man. But I did have an idea for
him, and I really felt that it could make a huge,
positive difference in Ken's life -- and in the
life of those he worked with.
And it wasn't the kind of advice you'd
expect.
It's already become a cliché to say that
we live in unprecedented, challenging times. We all
know it. But the truth is, the world of work is
always challenging. That's why they call it
"work."
No matter the industry, market, or type of
company you work in, you've had to deal with some
combination of the classic work-place obstacles,
issues, and barriers to a satisfying, fulfilling
experience.
At some time or another, for example, you've
reported to bosses or people in positions of
authority who were self-centered at best, and
idiotically egotistical at worst. They took all the
credit and none of the blame and could care less
whether or not you succeeded or failed. Or worse,
they preferred that you'd fail, and took great
pleasure in your struggles.
Or perhaps you worked in a company that, even
though populated by terrific human beings, was so
obsessed with the bottom line and shareholder value
that they made executive, strategic decisions that
compromised the employees' ability to serve the
customer. And the customers, therefore, exited in
droves.
You may have been in an environment that was
hyper-competitive to the point of paranoid,
risk-averse to the point of stifling, or so
political that it made you consider running for
local office just to get some relief.
We've all experienced some combination of these
themes with varying levels of intensity. And we've
all spent some amount of time and energy navigating
our way through the personal challenges that the
organizational pitfalls present. It's just the
price we pay for hanging out with other human
beings.
Now, add to that the current, sucking implosion
in the economy, and it's easy to see why, with all
our efforts to be positive, productive leaders, we
still get knocked down from time to time. Sometimes
way down.
The problem is in the way we typically deal: Our
knee-jerk reaction in times of crisis is to hold on
tighter, to be more cautious in our actions, and
more protective of our resources. We think that our
way out -- or up -- will come by virtue of shoring
up and hoarding what we have.
There is, however, a much better, far more
powerful alternative. A counterintuitive course of
action based on this ageless reality of true
leadership:
Your own greatness as a leader (or in just
about any other role you take on, for that matter)
lies, paradoxically, in your ability to cause
others to be greater than yourself.
Said another way, your (and my) best way out of
a challenge or crisis is not to focus on your own
peril or rut, but, instead, to reach out and try to
boost someone else over your head.
The idea should sound familiar. It's really just
a variation on the "do unto others" sentiment of
the Golden Rule, a philosophy that exists in
virtually all religions, schools of thought, and
philosophies on the planet. And in none of those
versions -- not one -- will you find a footnote
saying, "Does not apply Monday through Friday
between the hours of 9 to 5 or any time you find
yourself in a jam."
So the solution I offered to Ken was this:
Pick someone at work to invest in, with the
intent of making that person greater than you are.
Be a coach, guide, or mentor in the truest, most
personal sense of the words by choosing someone to
be your GTY (Greater Than Yourself) project, and
see what that does to your own predicament, your
own state of mind.
Maybe it was out of desperation, but as
surprised as he was by the curve ball I'd thrown
him, Ken took my advice and agreed to the
challenge.
Two weeks later, Ken wrote to say that he'd
thought deeply about our conversation and had come
to realize that before he could lift someone else
up by sharing his knowledge and experience, he
needed to be sure that he had learned the right
lessons from the recent team trauma. So he'd met
with his boss, and asked for feedback on how he
could have acted differently, what he may have done
to contribute to the problem, and how he could be a
better leader in the future. The "30 minute meeting
turned into a 2 hour confessional," said Ken, which
resulted in him learning some hard, "gold lessons"
about himself.
"Now," he continued, "I've already started to
work with a tech on my team who wants to be a
manager. And I'm taking a vow," he said, "to make
the people around me better -- as I continue to
grow myself. I'm going to teach my children about
this, too." Ken, it seems, has gotten his energy
back, and he's well on his way to getting back
up.
We're all human, just like Ken. And just like
him, we all get bashed down from time to time. So,
the next time that happens to you, resist the
temptation to pull yourself up by the proverbial
bootstraps, and reach out to pull someone else up,
instead. Go find someone to be your GTY
project.
Come to think of it, why wait?
Copyright ©2009 Steve
Farber. Published with permission.
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