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Essays, Opinion, & Commentary |
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August 3, 2004 by Farjam Majd, J.D.
Overview The male-female relationship in human society is the most fundamental and important type of human relationship because it is not only the cornerstone of procreation, but also the unique bond in the principally perfect union of the two complementary halves of humanity. As such, this bond is special and its unique qualities should be acknowledged and strengthened, not denied and degraded by regarding it simply as one of the many alternatives. The homosexual activists and their supporters have had considerable success in favorably framing the issues in terms of what they want to focus on, and coining the language to their liking in the contemporary debate over homosexuality. Indeed, the core issue of homosexuality, that of the essence of the relationship itself, has been lost in the debate and secondary issues such as tolerance, acceptance, civil rights, adoption and homosexual marriage have been promoted to take the center stage. In effect, the underlying relationship has been accepted as valid, and as a result, the rest of the claims will have to be accepted because they logically follow. But, these issues are not fundamental and only flow by implication from the basic assumptions about the normalcy of the homosexual relationship. In this essay, I refocus the attention on the essence of the homosexual relationship. I will argue that, despite the popular and often irrelevant claims to the contrary, homosexuality is a pathological condition of the sexual system. This argument is in the bigger context of the sexual system and the fundamental, gender-based, and complementary relationship between male and female. Because men and women are not interchangeable, a homosexual relationship cannot be a valid substitute for a heterosexual relationship. The fundamental harm which lies in homosexual tendencies and behaviors results from the depravation of one sex from the complementary characteristics and influences of the opposite sex. I will briefly touch on many aspects of this debate for completeness and to rebut the oft made and invalid arguments on these basis. The Homosexual Aspirations and Agenda There has been a trend in recent years, and becoming more widespread, where people with certain identifiable problems try to redefine their problems as traits of diversity. For example, in a recent news story a deaf child was born to deaf parents (who were, incidentally, a lesbian pair). The child's impairment could be treated and cured but the parents refused to allow treatment on the grounds that deafness is not a defect but a culture! Their argument was based on that deaf people have their own language and way of life and therefore are a distinct culture and by curing their child they would be turning their back on their culture. It is hard to imagine a more selfish and absurd argument. They want to deprive their own child of a major sense because they think that their physical impairment amounts to a culture. This quest for normalcy, through the redefinition of problems as diversity traits, is a strong and emotional driver for activists to promote acceptance and normalization of their condition. The conviction behind this activism is further strengthened by the historical bigotry and unreasonable discriminations that people with these problems were made to bear. They are now united partly because of this common discrimination that they endured over the decades and centuries past. This is one reason why they feel so self-righteous and are so dedicated to their causes. To this end, the homosexual activists and their supporters now want to get as much media exposure as they can, promote their condition as normal through educational establishments and entertainment outlets and gain sympathy and acceptance by irrelevant comparisons to racial minorities and arguments on the basis of civil rights. Even past this stage, they have reached the point of coercing the rest of the society to accept their viewpoints by judicial decree and favorable interpretations of law. This is a classic case of the tyranny of minority. Trivialized Male-Female Differences Probably the most important of the intellectual and emotional enablers of the current permissive and positive attitudes towards homosexuality is the trivialization of the differences between men and women in pop culture, politics and law. This attempt at trivializing the differences stems from the emotional quest for equality through sameness. After all, if we are all the same, there can be no argument about who is better or worse in a particular respect. But this quest is misguided in its approach. By denying the differences, they are also denying the unique and irreplaceable values that each sex brings to the table. Ironically, one of the negative results of the feminist movement has been the undervaluation of femininity. From the inception, the feminist movement tried to deny and trivialize male-female differences and directly or by implication regard them as a social strategy devised by men to keep women down. They aggressively promoted male behavior and manners in women to "show" everybody that women can do everything just as well as men. Unwittingly, the feminists are also sending the message that women can only have value if they act like men, undervaluing their potential based on their own feminine traits. If we accept the proposition that men and women are basically the same (other than some obvious anatomical differences) in terms of behavior, traits, and inclinations, then we can logically conclude that they are interchangeable in general. This fallacious proposition is largely responsible for the justification and acceptance of the homosexual relationship because if men and women are interchangeable, then based on one's inclinations, be they biologically based or not, one may validly choose either a man or a woman as his/her sexual partner. That is, anything goes. Of course, men and women are very different in their behaviors, traits, and inclinations. The differences are very visible at all levels of their existence from sub-cellular level XX & XY chromosomes, to the highest levels of cognitive characteristics as I discuss below. What is the Sexual System? Sex is often identified with mating and that is probably the most visible manifestation of the sexual system. But there is a lot more to the sexual system than mere sex. The sexual system is a means of diversifying and thus strengthening the gene pool by requiring the mixing of the chromosomes of two individuals, the male and the female. But it doesn't end there. In advanced animals and especially in humans, this is a multilevel system where at each level there are complex adaptations that support the particular sex's (i.e. male's or female's) sexual strategy for survival. Some of the identifiable levels include sub-cellular (e.g.: chromosomes), cellular (e.g.: sex cells), physiological (e.g.: hormones, circulation), anatomical (e.g.: do you really need an example for this?!), emotional (how we feel about a given event), behavioral (how we react to and deal with events), and cognitive (how we understand and view intellectual matters) levels. Male-Female Differences Male and female are different in each of the levels mentioned above. What is more, these differences are complementary to those of the opposite sex, not arbitrary. At some levels, such as the sub-cellular and cellular levels where you consider the makeup of XX-XY chromosomes and behaviors of sperm and egg, respectively, this complementation is obvious. At other levels the complementation is more subtle, but it is there. Some of these levels are discussed below. At the cognitive level, generally, both men and women can do everything, but how they do it and how they approach problems and solutions are different because of their different outlooks on life necessitated by their gender. Women tend to be more holistic in their approach to problems and men tend to be more black and white and focused. These differences are neither trivial nor incidental. They represent two fundamental and complementary approaches to problem solving and dealing with life's challenges. In some problem areas we need to focus intensely, be methodical, and dig deep, while in other areas we need to consider all factors and relationships involved. This may partially explain why men tend to be the technical specialists while women excel in management skills, multitasking, and social relationships. It is noteworthy that in adopting one of these problem solving strategies, it is not only the capabilities that are important but also the inclination and enjoyment involved because people tend to do what they enjoy in the absence of ulterior sociopolitical motives. At the behavioral level, one of the differences is that women tend to react to conflicts with more physically peaceful means (although the attitude may be combative), whereas men are more likely to resort to physical violence to settle the dispute. The complementation lies in that both types of reactions are sometimes called for and neither one alone can resolve all conflicts. Hence, the two together complement each other and create a balanced strategy for dealing with all situations. Because sex is the differentiator of male and female at many levels, it follows that "homo" -- "sex" is a contradiction in terms. In this context, "sex" means difference. So, these gender-based differences are fundamental (i.e. it applies to everybody), not incidental, they are complementary, not merely collaborative, and they are gender-based, not individual-based. It is important to note that in addition to these sexual characteristics within the individual, the functioning of the sexual system also depends upon the coming together of the sexes to fulfill the complementation. So, it follows that the sexual system may be impaired in two ways: one, by a defect in one of the levels listed above within one individual (intra-sex problem), and two, by one individual failing to join with his/her complement, namely the opposite sex. The latter could happen in the form of lack of attraction to the opposite sex (inter-sex problem). It is important to recognize the difference
between complementation and collaboration.
Collaboration means the two collaborating entities
basically perform the same function but more of it.
Whereas, complementation means the two
complementing entities perform different functions
to achieve a common goal. The four wheels in a car
are collaborative because they merely divide the
load, while the engine and the transmission perform
different functions of power generation and power
transmission, respectively, to achieve the common
goal of motion. When two same-sex individuals
The book Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women, by Anne Moir, is instructive about male-female differences. |
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