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September
2, 2007
Another
South
The Which
There Mostly Ain't No More
by Fred Reed
The South is today, for so many people, a symbol
of lynch law, slavery, benightedness, and masked
riders in the night. Like the American West, it has
become a Hollywood fable bearing little resemblance
to the place it was and barely, in spots, still is.
The other night I was listening to Ode to Billy
Joe, Bobby Gentry's song of bleak rural poverty
near Tupelo not all that long ago. To many, such
ballads make no sense or seem whiney and
self-pitying. No. It's how things were. I saw the
tag end of it.
The rural South, like the West Virginia coal
country where I was born and briefly lived, was in
many places pea-turkey poor, red dirt and not much
else poor, hookworm poor, hopeless poor. It was
ugly poor. It bred hard, mean people with a
Calvinist streak that fit their hardness and
meanness just fine.
Theirs was an isolated world in the years before
television and electricity, especially in the
countryside. Imagine: No babbling screen and no
radio, if only because no electricity. Neighbors
few and distant. Little schooling and little to
read anyway. No familiarity with anything beyond a
day's walk. Dirt roads. No telephones.
In the soft smoky evenings of the Delta where
things seemed to blur a little in a sensual heat,
or those then-remote hollers near Bluefield where
inbreeding turned the people strange, in blindingly
hot rural Alabama where fields of goober peas --
peanuts -- ripened in silence broken only by
insects, there weren't many neighbors. Life was
profoundly local, like the Garden of Eden. And it
was hard. People died of preventable causes and
went below in raw pine caskets. Death was more
routine for them than for us.
By the time I got old enough to see what was
going on, it was ending. There was still some of
it. When I was a kid in Athens, Alabama in 1957,
school vacations in nearby Ardmore coincided with
cotton-picking and cotton-chopping time. In Athens,
Johnny Cox and Jim Bob McAllister lived in
unpainted trashwood shacks with a hanging bulb on
twisted wire as the sole evidence of
electrification. I wasn't supposed to play with
them, though I did anyway.
Here were residual social eddies consequent to
Appomattox. My parents, first cousins, were both of
the Venables, a family of some prominence in
antebellum Virginia. To call those far-off people
"aristocracy" would be stretching, but they were
respectable country gentry. They were instrumental
in starting Hampden-Sydney College in 1776. Charles
Scott Venable was on Lee's staff, Andrew Reid
Venable on Stuart's. On my shelves I have today
books, The Venables of Virginia, The Reids and
Their Relatives, The Cabells and Their Kin,
recalling the ascendancy of English and Scots-Irish
Protestantism, and perhaps a thirst for
alliteration. These people were looked up to, being
by no means arrogant but aware of their worth and
position.
As a small boy I remember Hampden-Sydney as an
expansive campus surrounded by woods, unutterably
still in summer when the college boys were gone,
sparkling by night with lightning bugs, and shaded
by huge oaks. Nearby Farmville, county seat of
Prince Edward County, was pure Virginia. Stately
frame houses marched up High Street past the statue
of the Confederate soldier, across from Longwood, a
teachers college. It was quiet, peopled by folks
who had been there for generations, maybe not so
much remote as uninterested in anywhere else. It
was reliable, stable, immutable. Social position
sprang from ancestry. My parents grew up there.
The trouble with immutability is that it doesn't
last. The modern world arose and the rules changed.
Suddenly it wasn't who you were but what you had
done. A fierce and unseemly competitiveness set in
across the nation, lapping even at the shores of
Southern sensibility. Before, walking down Main
Street of Farmville it was "Why, good morning, Mrs.
Reed," and a cordial but not too close "Good
morning, Sara" to the black woman who worked in the
kitchen sometimes. It was a world of established
and easy hierarchy.
Then mobility set in and my father, Southerner
to the core, found himself in Athens, working as a
mathematician at the Army Ballistic Missile Agency
in Huntsville. Venable meant nothing in Limestone
County. Before Sputnik, the federal government
didn't pay mathematicians well so we lived in a
small tin-roofed frame house of the sort
characteristic of the lower middle class. I didn't
know this, but my parents did. They found
themselves in a pushing world of people oriented to
achievement instead of sleepy dignified
stratification. And they were terrified of falling
into the lower middle class that economically they
resembled. It was a not uncommon problem for people
set in the old way.
Again, I didn't know any of this and wouldn't
have cared, picking up both the BB gun and the
sorghum argot of the mostly lower middle class Huck
Finns of the place. ("I'll knock the far outa that
no-count scandal," I could say with native
syllabically padded fluency. Fire. Of no account.
Scoundrel.)
We moved about, my father being an itinerant
sort of mathematician. My parents were never quite
content. Southerners of their day were from
somewhere, and they stayed from there, wherever
they were. My mother taught school briefly in West
Virginia while she and I stayed with my maternal
grandfather, a coal-camp doctor. We lived in
Crumpler, an unincorporated townlet up the holler
from North Fork, near Bluefield. My father, with
the simple-minded patriotism of the South of the
time, had gone back into the military to be an
artillery spotter for the Marines in Korea.
Crumpler, though not technically in the South,
might as well have been. The miners were raw men,
angular Scots-Irish, hard, living sometimes in
sod-roofed shacks, living on fat and dough and
ignorant beyond today's imagination. In economic
effect, the difference between share-cropping and
coal mining rarely exceeded the orthographic.
My mother told me later of having gone up the
mountain to see the parents of a wild, dirty little
girl among her students. It must have been a sight:
My mother, nicely dressed as befitted her status,
walking in a wilderness of broken rock toward a
wretched shack. The little girl appeared on the
porch, stared wide-eyed, and shouted, "Gret Gawd
A'mighty! Here come that teacher lady!"
Today, country music is the only remnant in the
public mind of a world fast being forgotten.
Increasingly it is sung by people who were never
there. Nashville and the Grand Ole Opry, to my eye
anyway, pretend to be what they aren't any more.
The South of Billy Joe, of desolate hillsides
glittering with mica and no running water, is
pretty much dead. Good riddance, too. From New
York, most things Southern are regarded as cornball
if not actually evil. But singers like Gentry, like
David Allen Coe aren't making it up. They just
report. It was like that.
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2007 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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