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January
1, 2008
Dulce et
Decorum Est
If Someone
Else Has to Do It
by Fred Reed
I have just received the November issue of the
magazine of the American Legion, in which I
discover an article by one Ralph Peters, reminding
me of why, having joined the Legion on impulse, I
have never gone to the Post. The piece is entitled
"Twelve Myths of 21st Century War." A better title
might be, "A Pedestrian Compendium of Agonizingly
Cliched Jingoism." (I guess he didn't think of
calling it that.) Anyway, Ralph believes that
Americans have become too comfortable, have lost
their taste for war, no longer want to pay the
butcher's bill. Ralph is for war. Not much for
history, though.
As a diagnostic exercise in intellectual
pathology, let's look at some of these
clichés. Ralph speaks of "the terrible price
our troops had to pay for freedom" in our various
wars. Ah. In exactly which wars did the military
protect our freedoms?
The Mexican War of 1847 didn't protect our
freedoms. In the view of Ulysses Grant -- a
participant in that war, and unconvincing as a
limp-wristed liberal -- it constituted sheer
unjustified aggression. In the Civil War the
Confederacy posed no danger to our freedoms, if by
"us" one means the Union. The South wanted only to
be left alone to misbehave in peace. The
Spanish-American War of 1898 was also unjustified
aggression: Neither Cuba nor Spain posed the
slightest threat to our freedoms. World War I
didn't protect our freedoms, nor probably those of
Europe. It was an internal war between colonial
powers led by idiots. World War II was justified
retaliation for attack and a plausible long-term
peril for freedom. The Korean War wasn't about our
freedoms -- many observers assert that it took
place in Korea -- and neither was Viet Nam. We lost
the latter and seemed no less free than before.
Iraq has nothing to do with our freedoms. It
couldn't threaten the freedom of Guatemala.
One for eight, Ralph. It wouldn't fly in the
NFL.
Ralph, a doubtless well-paid commentator on
television, complains that our elites do not fight
in the country's wars. True. Neither do our Ralphs.
Relying on his biography in the Wikipedia, I find
that he was born in 1952, making him of military
age in 1970. The war in Viet Nam being at its
height, he went to Europe for ten years. Rough
duty, it was. Cirrhosis always looms in those beer
gardens. He retired from the Army as a lieutenant
colonel in intelligence. (Officers usually being
peters, it is not surprising that Peters was an
officer.) In the Marines we referred to such people
as "admin pogues" or "REMFs," rear-echelon
motherfuckers. I confess to a loathing for those
who shelter safely behind the lines yet send others
to fight, bowwow, grrrr, woof. Still, his record is
not irrelevant to his views. War looks exciting to
office workers, but has less appeal to those who
are forced to fight. It has even less appeal for
those who are hit.
I remember lying in the NSA hospital in Danang,
across the way from some guys whose tank had been
hit by an RPG. I couldn't see them because my face
was bandaged. Still, we talked. They were badly
burned, but seemed likely to live, though with
ghastly scars.
The RPG had ruptured the hydraulics, they said,
and the cherry juice cooked off. The two across
from me had gotten out. The other two crewmen had
burned to death. Apparently they screamed a lot.
You panic, it hurts, you are blinded, you can't
find the hatches, that kind of thing.
I could tell a lot of stories like that. I don't
because then I get very strange and want to hit
something. A loud-mouthed REMF, for example.
Don't take this as denigration of Ralph, though.
Intel work carries its perils. He could have broken
a nail on his shift key. Sure, a trip to the nails
parlor would fix it, but those things hurt.
Ralph of course speaks of the sacrifices our
boys are making. They aren't making sacrifices.
They are being sacrificed. Sacrifices are
voluntary, but if the troops decline to fight, they
go to jail. The mechanics go this way: Having an
all-volunteer army minimizes objections to the war
since no one of any influence has to go; if a lot
of high-school grads from Tennessee are getting
killed, well, it's not a good thing of course, but
who really cares? This facilitates hobbyist wars. A
voluntary army is a small army, so you have to send
the same troops for tour after tour until they are
half-mad and their families wrecked. Who cares?
They are just rednecks anyway -- not our sort of
people, nobody a general would let his daughter
date.
What are the current wars about? Ralph thinks,
or says he thinks, that our wars serve to protect
civilization, decency, and apple pie. This is
either boilerplate brainlessness or deliberate
cant. Permit me to cite a contrary view:
"War is a racket. It always has been. It is
possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable,
surely the most vicious. It is the only one
international in scope. It is the only one in which
the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses
in lives
A racket is best described, I
believe, as something that is not what it seems to
the majority of the people. Only a small "inside"
group knows what it is about. It is conducted for
the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the
very many. Out of war a few people make huge
fortunes."
Many will recognize this as the writing of the
celebrated leftist Noam Chomsky, but this would be
a case of misidentification. The author is, of
course, Marine Major General Smedley Butler, holder
of two Congressional Medals of Honor, even more
than Ralph. But what does Butler know about war,
compared to an office-weenie veteran of Europe's
beer chutes?
War is a racket. The military budget is
absolutely huge after you add up the usual budget,
the expenditures for the current wars, the intel
outfits, the black programs, the Veterans
Administration, and Homeland Security. Each of
these jelly jars attracts its swarm of hungry bees.
Always a new weapon is needed. Some threat
pullulates in the darkness, ready to defeat the
weapons we have. Some of these programs become
virtual kingdoms. A fighter can take a quarter
century to develop at wonderful cost. Then you get
to produce it for decades perhaps, and sell spare
parts and upgrades and then you slep it (Service
Life Extension Program, become a verb). Money,
money, money. An occasional war provides
plausibility.
Of course we are in Iraq to protect our
freedoms, Ralph. Who could doubt it? Only by
coincidence does colonization put American troops
on the borders of Iran and Syria, enemies of
Israel, and in a position to control by
intimidation the oil of Iran, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait,
Iraq, and the UAE. Coincidence, I assure you.
A bloated military requires enemies. Ralph sees
one in the Mohammedans, a desperate recourse but
the only one available. Enemies have to be
frightening so as to justify the budget. The
Soviets were serviceable in this regard, having a
huge if low-grade military and a history of
occupying places. When the commies punked out, no
believable bugaboo was at hand, so makeup was
applied to Moslems to let them serve until China
comes online. Already one reads of the ominous
buildup of the wily Chinee. Evil lurks everywhere,
fearsome shapes twist in the fog, send money.
Why does Ralph think Iraq threatens our
freedoms? Because he is supposed to. To quote
Smedley Butler further, "Like all the members of
the military profession, I never had a thought of
my own until I left the service. My mental
faculties remained in suspended animation while I
obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical
with everyone in the military service."
Actually it is much more true of officers, who
are issued their minds when they sign up. They
seldom turn them in upon retirement. Enlisted men
know less but think more.
Enough. I can't stand it. Ralph complains that
the presidential candidates have never been in
uniform, but I note that Hillary's combat record
exactly equal Ralph's. Frauds, phonies, poseurs,
always saying, "Let's you and him fight."
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2008 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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