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September
3, 2008
Schwei-gwo
Syau-jye
A View
from the Bridge
by Fred Reed
It was 1975, just after the fall of Saigon, and
I was in Taipei, studying Chinese and waiting for
the next war, which didn't come. I abode downtown
in the winding labyrinth of backstreets inhabited
mostly by workers since I was pretty broke. My
roommates were a Chinese teenager, Dingwo, who
wanted to be a rock star, and Sakai, a diminutive
Japanese mathematician with penis envy, and Ron, a
Peace Corps guy back from India who astounded hotel
guards by speaking to them in good Punjabi.
Chinese back alleys are wonderful places, or
were anyway before Starbucks. They reek of spices
and good cooking and kids sat outside to avoid the
heat and studied at orange-crate desks. The Chinese
study. We will one day think this important. We ate
in tin-roofed restaurants with trays of little baby
squid like grey vitamin pills and things less
identifiable.
Near the apartment was a sort of concrete
overpass with the space beneath it walled off to
provide a low-rent place for food stalls. It was
hot and steamy inside because of long rows of women
frying this and steaming that. We ate sheets of
fried squid, youyu, and then go to the fruit-juice
stall.
I forget her name. We just called her Schwei-gwo
Syau-jye, Fruit Girl. She was about twenty-five,
roughly my age at the time and spent all day behind
a white-tiled counter, selling fruit juice. Her
mother was dead, her father eighty-something, and
she had to take care of him. Schwei-gwo was slim
and pretty, a common condition among Chinese, but
tired.
I'd order a complicated juice concoction and sit
there for an hour, practicing Chinese. Unless you
want to read it, it is an easy language. She was
usually in jeans and sweatshirt, and was trying to
learn English. Have I said that the Chinese study?
Somehow she remained cheerful despite brutal hours
and not much of a life, which made me sad but
that's how Asia was. Between customers she would
flip through her dictionary and a copy of
Newsweek.
In the East you meet many people like Schwei-gwo
Syau-jye, intelligent and and decent, who deserve
better than they will ever have. It can get to you.
She had a little white powder-puff dog that ate
rice to keep her company. At night she walked home
through the dark streets, a little nervous but
feeling less alone with her dog. Crime was low
because the government didn't tolerate it, but
still
.
Nights were different for Ron and me. Sometimes
we went to Wan Wha, where you found the
snake-butchers, and rough-looking men came to the
worker's brothels. (Preposterously, Wan Wha means
"Ten Thousand Glories." It was pretty much a slum.)
The butchers had cobras and the occasional y-bai
shuh, which means one hundred paces because that's
how far they think you would get if bitten. They
slit the beasts from head to tail, massaged the
blood into a glass, and sold it to workers. "Dwei
shen-ti, hen hau," good for the body. I always
figured watermelon juice was a better idea. But I
ramble.
The next war didn't come, and I left Taiwan.
Marriage came, much water under various bridges,
and my daughter Macon, Blonde Poof as we called
her, made her appearance. I was working for a paper
in Washington. The Taiwanese PR operation offered
me and my wife a junket to Taipei, which we took,
carting along Blonde Poof. I forget how old she was
but she sat up successfully the first time in
Taiwan.
We were staying in the Grand Hotel, Madame
Chiang's gorgeous pile on a hill overlooking the
city. We went downtown to my old haunts, Poof
included, and found Gwo-yu R-bau, my old school.
Was my teacher, Jang Lau-Shr still about, and would
they tell her I'd like to see her? They would.
She showed up and we were both astonished that I
could still carry on a conversation. It was odd
after so many years. The neighborhood wasn't much,
just low stores selling ordinary things, but there
is a flavor to Asia that seeps into you and you
never really leave. My wife, who had never been to
that part of the world, said half-seriously, "Now,
why are we going to go back?" Yes.
Then, on the off-chance, we went to the
bridge.
There, in the same stall, hardly looking older,
was Schwei-gwo Syau-jye. Nothing had changed. She
was delighted to see us and we ordered the old
concoctions. Same steamy heat, same smells. I don't
know whether the dog-puff was the same or new. Her
father was still alive and she was still working
herself to death to care for him.
For a bit she played with Blonde Poof. The
Chinese regarded a golden-haired child as almost a
tourist attraction. They are a pretty people, the
Chinese, but not a blond people.
No, she still wasn't married. She didn't have
time to do much because she had to keep the stall
open. We talked of fond memories of no importance
and my wife and I left, vowing to write. I would
have if I hadn't managed to lose the address. We
never saw Schwei-gwo Syau-jye again.
Maybe she is still under the bridge, squeezing
melons. Possibly things somehow got better for her.
Taiwan has prospered mightily since those days.
Maybe she got a job in an office. But I doubt
it.
Forgive the horrible Romanization. Too many
systems scrambled in my head.
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2008 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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