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April
13, 2009
Messin' Where
We Shouldn't Oughta
A User's
Guide to Thoroughly Stupid Foreign
Policy
by Fred Reed
I strain for words to describe adequately
Washington's policy toward Latin America.
Candidates come to mind: Imbecilic, moronic,
catatonic, Pollyannaish, blind, incurious. No,
these are poor creatures and frail, not equal to
the task. Retarded? Anencephalic? Those too lack
descriptive power. The EEG has flat-lined. The
patient is dead.
I recently found the following from McClatchey
news service:
WASHINGTON -- As the Pentagon eyes a bigger role
in Mexico's drug war, the military's efforts to
open the door to a new relationship with its
southern neighbor
."
Book me a ticket to Mars. The Pentagon is eyeing
something, a sure recipe for disaster. Previously
it has eyed Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Somalia, Iraq,
Afghanistan, Pakistan, and made a horrendous mess
of each. Now the Five-Sided Sand Box is eyeing
Mexico. Oh good. Let's get involved in another
third-world catastrophe by meddling in what we
don't understand.
Continues McClatchey: "During a trip designed to
expand U.S. Mexican-military relations, Adm.
Michael Mullen, the highest-ranking U.S. military
officer, visited the graves of American troops who
died during the Mexican-American war just as Gates
did during his first visit in August."
How stupid can you get? (The question is
rhetorical. Pentagonal stupidity does not converge,
but increases without limit.) To improve relations
with the Mexican army, we rub its nose in having
defeated them. "Haha, Pedro, you got a few of our
guys, but we kicked your hindparts good, didn't
we?" The unspoken subtext to any Mexican being,
"And we can do it again."
Let me explain something. To Mexicans, the US is
not a friendly nation. The reasons are countless,
some valid and some not, but Mexicans do not see
America as benign. They fear the US military, which
they regard as out of control, invading country
after country in pursuit of oil.
Mexico has oil. America lost control of it in
1938 when Lazaro Cardenas nationalized it. Mexicans
believe, in dead seriousness, that the US would
love a pretext for invading to get it back. A
pretext such as coming in to help Mexico fight
drugs, and just not leaving. Iraq comes instantly
to their minds.
And so the good admiral and the SecDef come to
pay homage to the American soldiers who conquered
Mexico. What diplomatic genius.
While they are at it, why not lay a wreath in
Hiroshima to the brave American airmen who died
over Japan? Or maybe erect a statue to Sherman in
Atlanta? What if the Mexican army chief went to New
York to commemorate the courageous freedom fighters
who took down the towers?
No. No, no, no. Keep the gringo soldiers out of
Mexico. To Mexicans, the US military means only one
thing: unshirted aggression. The dates 1846-1848
might convey something to one American in a
hundred. Mexicans know that in those years they
lost half their country to what U.S. Grant called
an utterly unjustified invasion. They remember.
You don't have to agree with Grant's assessment
(though I don't see how it can be intelligently
disputed). Mexican behavior is determined by what
Mexicans think, not what we think they ought to
think.
Peoples remember invasions for a very long time.
It is not smart to step on a country's national
corns. Even today a lot of Southerners would march
on Washington under arms if they thought they had a
chance of winning.
It is not just that Mullen and Gates did what
they did, but that they had no idea what they were
doing. I mean
look, Mexico is not the Dry
Tortugas. It is a country of 110 million people
sharing a very long border with the US. What
happens here has consequences for the United
States. It might make sense to treat the place with
a modicum of thought, to have some grasp of how
Latins think. I don't mean a firm grasp, or real
understanding. I am not an extremist.
But
maybe just a clue.
From Guadalajara, our policy towards the
continent below seems determined by bumbling
children, by domestic politics, by truculent and
heavily armed Boy Scouts. Is Hillary Clinton the
Secretary of State for her long experience abroad,
her command of languages? Or because her
appointment healed a schism in the Democratic Party
and soothed the Israeli lobby? No one in power
seems even to know that there is anything to know
about South America. I suspect I could count on the
fingers of an amputee's hand the number of high US
officials who speak Spanish. It is ridiculous.
In the past it perhaps didn't matter much
whether Washington knew anything about Caracas, La
Paz, or Brasilia. Latin Americans were all the same
-- serape, tequila, exaggerated sombrero, sleeping
under a cactus, burro waiting. I am still asked by
Americans, "In Mexico, do they, you know, have
paved roads?" Unbright. Very unbright.
Today wiser policy is in order, but seems
unlikely to be forthcoming. In particular, a
ratpack of colonels in arrested development are the
worst possible people to handle relations with
Latin countries. Colonels live in a clean-edged,
simple mental universe in which orders are
followed, everyone is a good guy or a bad guy, and
you can trust those thought to be on your side.
They believe in American values, in military
values, and believe that everyone really wants to
be like them, like us. Nothing to it: You bomb the
bad guys into submission, teach the people to be
honest and democratic as America isn't and never
was and, bingo, a docile Reader's Digest version of
Switzerland pops into existence. Good luck.
Latin America doesn't work that way. It is
complex, often profoundly corrupt, at times
chaotic, and inclined to view the rule of law as an
interesting idea perhaps worthy of examination at a
later date. Power flows through channels written
nowhere. Latins intensely resent American
intrusiveness. Most would prefer their own narcos
to US soldiery. The world below the Rio Bravo is
not suitable for military fiddling.
In today's complicated world, with the Asian
giants rising and seeking raw materials, maybe we
should pay more attention. Maybe sending the
Marines isn't the answer to every problem. Since
World War II, the Pentagon has displayed a nearly
solid record of failure in fighting either drugs or
peasants with AKs. We do not need to blunder into
new and better Afghanistans. We seem to want to,
though, and it will bring more leftists to power.
In the last election here, a truly nutball leftist
(AMLO -- Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador) came within a
few chads of being president of Mexico. Hugo Chavez
thrives on American hostility. We treat Cuba as an
enemy and, sure enough, it acts like one. None of
this is in the American national interest, boys and
girls. It's just brainless.
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2009 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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