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June
14, 2009
Mowing the
Sward of Damocles
I Have No
Idea Whar I meant by That
by Fred Reed
I've been reading the news again. It's great
fun, like watching an EEG trace as
it
slowly
flat-lines. Reading a newspaper
increasingly reminds me of watching a leper to see
which finger falls off next. You can make bets.
In the news I find more on torture. I'm so
proud. Home of the brave, land of the free, though
we may pull your fingernails out. What nobody talks
about is where we get our torturers. I mean, is it
a rating, like Radioman First Class? Do recruiters
offer it? What civilian applications do they see
when an eager young Torquemada leaves the military?
Local police?
The question of recruiting is fascinating. How
much would you have to be paid to crush knees with
a sledge hammer? Where do they find these guys? The
boss at Langley presumably doesn't just walk
through the office saying, "Hey, we need someone
TDY for Guantanamo to crush genitals. Sally, you up
for it? Bill? You get overseas pay and it looks
good on your rseume."
Or does he? The military didn't have any trouble
getting those girl soldiers at Abu Ghreib into it.
Ooooh! King-ky!
Sadism is sexual. People don't do it who don't
like it. We're not talking fun and games among
suburban S&M hobbyists who like to spank each
other. Don't even think about what goes on in Saudi
prisons in league with the American military. Do
our twisted patriots spend a few hours breaking
some poor kid's mind and then rush into an
adjoining room to masturbate? Do they swap
techniques?
Next, I see that some guy named Ahmadinnerjacket
claims he has been elected Prez of Iran again. It
seems that he is being threatened by the Prime
Minister of Israel, who for some time I believed to
be named Bibi Nut-and-Yahoo. This struck me as
unusually candid. Why don't I care? Sounds like a
personal problem. If they nuked each other, the
planet would be so much quieter.
Meanwhile North Korea threatens South Korea with
nuclear war, and the US pledges noisily to defend
the South at all costs. Why? The South has lots
more population and industry than does the North.
If South Korea wants to defend itself, it can. If
it doesn't want to, I don't care. I'm not Seoul's
mother.
When you enlist in the military you pledge to
defend the Constitution. Is it in Korea? I didn't
pay much attention in high-school civics.
Next, I see that the US has killed thirteen more
civilians with drone strikes in Afghanistan.
Lovely. What fun. I picture some wet-lipped CIA
psychopath goobering at his screen in search of
someone to blow up. It's a cinch they don't know
who they are aiming at. The CIA has never been very
good at intelligence, but it doesn't matter. It's
the spirit of the thing. Besides, Afghans breed
like flies. If you splatter one kid with a really
neat drone, got buttons, got knobs, they can beget
another.
Next, California is broke. Good. They deserve
it. It's not as if bankruptcy were an act of God,
like getting hit on the head by a giant meteor. It
was deliberate stupidity. Spend more than you make,
and you end up on the street. I'm supposed to feel
sorry for that? I've known roundworms with
better sense. As I understand it, the Democrats
refuse to cut spending and the Republicans refuse
to raise taxes. See? A lobotomy in two-part
harmony. Sounds like the whole country.
Next, I see that Precedent O'Bama wants to take
on the pharmaceutical companies to lower the price
of prescriptions. The subhead alleged that
important congressmen have "ties to the industry,"
as if this were somehow not right or normal.
OK, a brief excursion into cosmic truth. First,
socialism. Hard-line conservatives with little
grasp of economics refer to anything they don't
like -- Hillary, national health care, regulation
of anything if it might cost them money -- as
"socialist." It's a utility pejorative, devoid of
meaning, as "racist" and "elitist" are for
political south-paws. Socialism is of course a
system in which the government owns the means of
production. Check your dictionary.
Ah! But in America, the means of production own
the government. Inverted socialism it is. Here is a
far better thing. If you are a means of production,
anyway.
Example: Bausch & Lomb makes ophthalmic salt
water, useful in treating corneal edema, under the
trade name "Muro." In the Yankee Capital, it costs
$23 for 1.8 ounces; in Wincherster, Va., $19; in
Farmacias Guadalajara, about $6. The identical
product. The generic here, Hipoton, comes in at
about $3.
You could call it price-fixing, but I prefer to
think of it as governmental regulation of prices.
It is perfectly legal, because Big Pharma owns the
government.
I believe that Econ textbooks say that price
controls haven't worked from Diocletian on. Wrong.
They work splendidly. Ask Bausch & Lomb. If you
could make over twenty-two bucks on a dime's worth
of salt water, wouldn't you be in favor of
governmental interference in the economy?
Let me explain medicine briefly. It's an unholy
scam. Here in Mexico my wife occasionally gets ear
infections. At any pharmacy, we pick up
Amoxicillin, 250mg three times a day for ten days.
Six bucks.
Recently we were staying in Maryland with
friends, and she got an ear ache. Amoxicillin is by
prescription only in the US, which means that
doctors have a monopoly on ear aches. It was Friday
evening. It was either agony until Monday or go to
one of those mall-based walk-in clinics, which
wanted $150 for the appointment and prescribed $78
in medicines.
It's a scam, pure and simple. Above the level of
county government, the US is as corrupt as Mexico
could ever be, and it's mostly legal. Yes, I know
all the who-struck-John from doctors about
engendering resistant bugs. Funny. Any pharmacist
in Thailand will tell you the same thing a US
doctor will -- Amoxicillin, take all ten days'
worth, etc. Scam.
Finally, I find that Northrop has "unveiled" an
unmanned fighter, the X-47 I think. ("Unveiled" is
a curious word, suggesting a blushing virgin.)
Again, iit's nverse socialism. America has no
military enemies and the country is going broke,
but the means of production own the government, and
so we'll get the thing at some huge cost. Northrop
is picking the pocket of the corpse as it begins to
decompose. Reminds me of Wall Street. Government by
looters.
Aaagh!
Reed
Archive
Copyright 2009 by Fred Reed and reproduced here by
permission of the author.
About
the Author (by the author):
Fred Reed is a Marine combat veteran, police
reporter, amateur biochemist, former long-haul
hitchhiker, and part-time sociopath living in
Mexico. Fred, a keyboard mercenary with a
disorganized past, has worked on staff for Army
Times, The Washingtonian, Soldier of Fortune,
Federal Computer Week, and The Washington
Times. He has been published in Playboy,
Soldier of Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, The
Washington Post, Harper's, National Review, Signal,
Air&Space, and suchlike. He has worked as a
police writer, technology editor, military
specialist, and authority on mercenary soldiers. He
is by all accounts as looney as a tune.
Visit the "Fred
on Everything" website to read his previous
columns and sign up for his regular e-mail
feature.
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The essays in A Brass Pole in
Bangkok, are sometimes wildly funny,
sometimes deadly serious, always merciless
in their unmasking of the pretenses and
charlatans of society. Fred, a former
Marine, subscribes to no ideology ("an
ideology is just a systematic way of
misunderstanding the world") but
exuberantly wreaks havoc on practically
everything, and delights in everything
else: the psychotherapy swindle, squalling
feminists, race racketeers, damn fool
wars, red-light districts in Asia, and
tequila fests in Mexico, where he
lives.
A
Brass Pole in Bangkok: A Thing I Aspire To
Be, by Fred Reed
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Buy Fred's new reprehensible book,
Nekkid In Austin! Another
collection of Fred's collected outrages,
irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry
from "Fred On Everything" and some
innocent magazines that, he says,
foolishly published him. Wildly funny,
sometimes wacky, always provocative essays
on the collapse of America.
Nekkid
in Austin: Drop Your Inner Child Down a
Well, by Fred Reed
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