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Essays, Opinion, & Commentary |
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Liberty Letters
September 1, 2004 Is Grief an Evil? by Steve Farrell
Is grief an evil? Or more to the point, is there something fundamentally wrong with you or I, or a family member, or the neighbor down the road, or the poor fellow across the ocean having an absolutely devastating day, week, month, year, decade or, perhaps, lifetime -- as some of our politicians, physicians and psychologists seem to believe? And, if one of us, or let's say, a group of us, happens to believe that there IS something terribly wrong with grief -- ought we to raise a hue and cry for a law, a pill, or a plug to be pulled to end the weeping and wailing, end it quickly, and end it forever? Or does grief, in God's wisdom, have its uses? I confess; I side with the latter. Not that I'm a believer in piling grief upon grief for the benefit's sake; nor am I a skeptic of voluntary compassion, wisely and sincerely administered, to lighten the burden of those who suffer -- but then again, I am no socialist, no pill popper, no escape artist. A little bit of grief can do a body good. That's my faith. It was Thomas Jefferson's and John Adams' faith, as well. Their thoughts on the subject are sage. On May 6, 1816 Adams wrote Jefferson:
Jefferson was looking for answers from the perspective of faith, from the perspective of Divine Providence. Adam's had a ready answer. He continues:
Well, should they? Adams answers his own question, "It seems that grief, as a mere passion; must be in proportion to sensibility." That is, if we have any sense in us, we ought to feel grief; and we will feel grief when grief is warranted; and the more sense we have in us, the deeper the grief will grate. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. "Did you ever see a portrait, or a statue of a great man, without perceiving strong traits of pain and anxiety? These furrows were all ploughed in the countenance, by grief. Our juridical oracle, Sir Edward Coke, thought that none were fit for legislators and magistrates, but "sad men." And who were these sad men? They were aged men, who had been tossed and buffeted in the vicissitudes of life forced upon profound reflection by grief and disappointments -- and taught to command their passions and prejudices." Imagine that! Adam's continues:
No wonder, then, so many laws and pills and safety nets and state salaried grief counselors, ready and willing and able to hinder grief from running it's natural course, commissioned to deal with grief from a secular, socialist, sottish standpoint! Let's not let man, as he has from the beginning, turn to God in his hour of need! But I'm interrupting. Adam's concludes:
The bottom line -- men of faith, see the GOOD, the ADVANTAGE, the PROVIDENCE in "Hard Times," -- opportunists, however, Adam's would point out in the next letter to Jefferson, exploit grief for political gain, for in behalf of revolutionary agendas. (3) We know all about that today. Jefferson concurred in all of this, called Adams' answer complete, but then added a little bit of his own faith and wisdom when he stated, "[Grief] is destined to temper the cup we are to drink." (4) Jefferson applied this specifically and repeatedly to the erosion of physical and mental capacity, the unending aches and pains, the decline in utility to society, the loss of lifelong friends to death, which accompany old age. His insights are inspiring. The supposed curse of growing old and approaching death "proves … this that the Being who presides over the world is essentially benevolent," -- benevolent because "the wish to stay here is thus gradually extinguished," the fear of death reduced, a longing for life eternal found in its place. (5) To John Adams, he wrote:
Death, then, could be "sweet," and "nature's kindest boon," (7) thought Jefferson, and he never let go of that theme. The longer he lived, the closer he inched toward the inevitable, the more the death of loved ones and troubles of old age mounted upon his back like so many anvils, the surer he was that life continued beyond the veil, and that he was ready, even anxious to go. He longed for that promised rejuvenation of faculties, friendships, youthful vigor, and the resolution of so many unanswered questions. Reflective of that faith that grief and debilitation had help burn within him, he characteristically noted in letters to dear aged friends that it was of small concern that bad health had diminished the communication between he and them, because a cheery reunion was not far off. To Abigail Adam's he writes, "With those beyond the flood, our next meeting must then be in the country to which they have flown, -- a country for us not now very distant. For this journey we shall need neither gold nor silver in our purse, nor scrip, nor coats, nor staves. Nor is the provision for it more easy than the preparation has been kind." (8) Such hopes brought sense out of suffering. Adam's thought so too. He would endure "many thousands [of] years of Smithfield fevers," so long as there is a "promise [of an] eternal life free from pain." (9) And then, he (Adams) extended the principle to a theme of his own: "In fine, without the supposition of a future state, mankind and this globe appear to me to be the most sublime and beautiful bubble; and bauble, that imagination can conceive. "Let us then wish for immortality at all hazards, and trust the Ruler with his skies. I do". (10) Adam's believed that few men, if any, would sacrifice comfort, career, and life itself for family, country, freedom were there no immortality, no day of accounting, no reward waiting on the other end. It was the belief in a greater life, a greater peace, a greater progression in knowledge in a Heavenly abode that was the greatest driving force to endurance in good works and public virtue available to man that made every sort of suffering bearable to attain it. "Thus, [I] earnestly wish for His commands, which to the utmost of my power shall be implicitly and piously obeyed[,]" he finished. (11) And so, these two founders ("the pen" and "the voice" of the Declaration of Independence), these two former presidents and men of great learning, were yet humble enough, wise enough, faithful enough to understood that grief, like every other form of adversity, was the Refiner's fire, the kind of glorious fire which fit men for a better and happier life here and hereafter -- if only they have the patience, if only they have the faith to wait upon and make the best of what Providence provides. And so while it is common sense to avoid bringing grief upon our own heads, and godlike to relieve the sufferer from his burden where possible in ways that are good and wise (or free of compulsion, dependence and addiction), yet it is equally sensible and godlike to look to grief as the great teacher and benevolent friend that it is, and to think twice before we embrace measures that would legislate or medicate grief into oblivion; -- for it just might be that grief is just what the Doctor of all Doctors ordered. Footnotes 1. Bergh, Albert Ellery, editor. The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, Volume 15, pg. 12. 2. Ibid., pgs. 12-15. 3. Ibid., pgs. 68-69. 4. Ibid., pg. 56. 5. Ibid., pg. 96. 6. Ibid., pg. 73. 7. Ibid., pg. 371. 8. Ibid., pg. 96. 9. Ibid., pg. 64. 10. Ibid., pg. 64. 11. Ibid.
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