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These
are links to articles and essays which appear
elsewhere on the Internet. This material is NOT on
our website. Because the Academy lists material
from other websites on the Internet does not imply
acceptance or approval of the comments or opinions
expressed by the author of the material. Nor is the
Academy responsible for any misrepresentation of
the facts included. It is your job to be a critical
reader.
Posted on July 21,
2005
Introduction and resources by Byron Barlowe,
Editor/Webmaster, Leadership
University
Divorce is such an integral part of our
collective life that we can now point and click on
the Internet to get one. Multiple marriages and
cohabitation carry no stigma while some heartily
recommend the lifestyles. So what's the big
deal?
"Love and Marriage" may "go together like a
horse and carriage," but if the marital track
record of the crooner who popularized this 1950s
tune is any indication, they go together for only
so long. In fact, since those days, Frank
Sinatra-style multiple marriages have become the
expected course for many Americans. According to a
Trinity University (San Antonio, Texas) study, "For
the first time in history, a married couple is as
likely to be parted by divorce as by death"
(www.trinity.edu/~mkearl/fam-div.html).
Yet, social science data and endless fodder
generated by the popular culture testify to the
harmful effects on those touched by divorce--all
the way out to the society at large. Intact
marriages, it is widely claimed, produce everything
from more satisfying sex to stabler children. But
neither choice is easy, all would agree. Is
cohabiting the answer? According to the Web site
All About Cohabiting Before Marriage, "By the year
2010, if the present trend continues, there will be
7 married couples for every cohabiting couple."
Yet, the benefits of monogamous marriage stand in
sharp contrast to the serious problems--including a
greater incidence of abuse--that arise among
cohabiting couples. Cultural commentator Chuck
Colson states succinctly, "Cohabitation: it's
training for divorce." Researcher Larry L. Bumpass
wrote in 1994, "The majority of cohabitors either
breakup or marry within two years."
So we're back to the issues of divorce and
marriage for most people, regardless of whether one
"test-drives" a relationship. We serve up an
eclectic menu of articles and reviews in our
Special Focus on the tightly related topics of
divorce, marriage and cohabitation for your
consideration, from a broad Christian
viewpoint.
Articles on Divorce:
Why
Marriages Fail, Kerby Anderson: Kerby Anderson
explores four negative risk factors that can
destroy intimacy in a marriage and possibly lead to
divorce: escalation, invalidation, negative
interpretations, withdrawal and avoidance.
End
No-Fault Divorce?, by Maggie Gallagher and Barbara
Dafoe Whitehead: In this article both sides of
the issue of no-fault divorce are considered.
Marital
Safety Nets - Community Marriage Policies, by
Charles Colson: "Community Marriage Policies
are now in place in 150 cities and the results have
been phenomenal. In Modesto, California, the first
city to adopt a Community Marriage Policy seventeen
years ago, divorce rates have plunged an incredible
forty-seven percent. Other cities are witnessing
similar eye-popping results."
The
Abolition of Marriage - Review by Kari Jenson
Gold: Did the institution of marriage crumble
on its own or was it dismantled intentionally? Kari
Jenson Gold reviews Maggie Gallagher's book, The
Abolition of Marriage, which tries to answer that
question.
Articles on Marriage:
Educating
for Marriage, Sort Of, by Dana Mack: Americans
are seriously interested in reviving a culture of
stable marriage. Part of this renewed interest has
been stimulated by public policy makers who,
recognizing the troubling social, emotional, and
economic legacy of divorce, have decided to act.
Determined to test new ways to encourage lasting
marriages, they have directed many of their efforts
toward encouraging marriage preparation programs in
schools and churches.
Steps
to Healing a Marriage, by John H. Stoll, Th.M.,
Ph.D: Many relationships today are in need of
healing, especially marriages. Here are some
practical steps to starting the process of ending
the pain.
For
Fidelity - How Intimacy and Commitment Enrich Our
Lives, by Review by J. Budziszewski:
Budziszewski demolishes author Wallace's alleged
defense of marital fidelity. Provides insight into
perspectives sometimes touted as pro-marriage.
Making
a Good Marriage - There's Only One Way, by Steven
Garber, Ph.D.: There is only one way into a
good marriage, and that is through the vision and
virtues of friendship, says author Steven Garber.
This article serves both the unmarried or the
"wanna' be" married and the married. Who knows, it
may offer helpful insight for the divorced.
I
Do?, by David Blankenhorn: It is common for
couples today to customize the vows for their
wedding. Do the words that they select have
anything to do with their actual marriage?
"Catholic
Gobbledygook", by Robert Royal: The author
considers the Catholic annulment process in
America. The issue of annulments raises several
interesting questions: the nature of marriage, the
laxity of American Catholics and the difficult
problems in broken relationships.
Marriage
Reminders, by Jerry Solomon: The communication
and responsibilities in marriage, as well as those
little extras, are discussed in this article.
A
Weekend for Reflection Upon a Life of Relationship,
by John H. Stoll, Th.M., Ph.D: Most married
couples do not understand the basic principles on
which marriage is based. It is good to take some
time to learn them. The discussion here provides a
step in that direction.
From
Sacrament to Contract - Marriage, Religion, and Law
in the Western Tradition, by Review by Romanus
Cessario: Cessario reviews Witte's account of
the shifting interplay of law, theology, and
marriage in Western civilization within the context
of the Roman Catholic, Lutheran and Anglican
traditions. Despite taking exception to a "skewed"
representation of the Catholic view of marriage in
later centuries, Cessario writes, "All in all, the
book makes fascinating reading, and should be
studied by those who want to discover more about
the present configurations of marriage among
Christians of all denominations."
Articles on Cohabitation:
Myths
Surrounding Cohabitation - All About Cohabiting
Before Marriage: From All About Cohabiting
Before Marriage, a Web site dedicated to a full
disclosure of the subject, including research on
the social, medical, psychological and relational
impact. Many of the reasons people live together
out of wedlock are ill-founded or just plain
false.
Sociological
Reasons Not to Live Together - All About Cohabiting
Before Marriage: The sociological arguments
against cohabiting are many, including, "Those who
have 'trial' marriages do not have better
marriages," and "Those having premarital sex may be
fooled into marrying a person who is not right for
them."
Psychological
Reasons Not to Live Together - All About Cohabiting
Before Marriage: The psychological arguments
against cohabiting are compelling. They include:
"Those who live together before marriage abuse each
other more often and more severely than dating
couples or married couples," and "Those who live
together before marriage suffer from greater
depression and anxiety."
Recommended Sites:
Family
Life: "Life-changing resources for your
family," including written materials and books,
conferences, radio broadcasts and more.
All
About Cohabiting Before Marriage: "The goal of
this web site is to help couples build strong
quality relationships that will grow into marriages
lasting a lifetime. Its purpose is to (1) detail
the harmful effects of living together on the
stability and satisfaction of relationships, in
general, and marriage, specifically; and (2)
suggest ways to help minimize these adverse effects
in order to have a successful marriage."
The above information is courtesy of Leadership
University, part of the Telling the Truth
Project: Telling the Truth at the speed of
life!
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